Chick flicks - love em' all!

Sex & the City (the movie) - love it!! That's the latest chick flick I've delved into. This movie is definitely not something a bloke would savour, but it's really something that most women would enjoy - why? It's because the characters' experiences would still fuse down to the same emotions that every woman has felt deeply before in relationships - happiness, disappointment, worries etc eventhough the experiences may be different types.

Finding love and meaningful relationships were all that these characters were looking for - very American, as there's more to life than just relationships of course, but I suppose as survival has it, we're all our mother's daughters... we want to have a partner for life and children to call 'ours' or 'our family' one day. Whether it happens or not, every woman has dabbled along the lines, tasted the joys and let-downs in search for a happy ending which is oh-so-stereotyped.

Still, I've been hooked on the episodes in the past because firstly, it was entertaining. Secondly, the one-liners are funny... and of course, some of the lines provoked a woman's thoughts as well. Thirdly, a woman's life and thoughts can be one big adventure alone! Being woman, and being able to empathise and understand some of the happiness, and disappointments in and of relationships, I've poured into the episodes and did my bit on couch potato-ing - it's worthed it!

Back to the movie... my hubby has made it clear that the movie ain't his cup of tea. With no girlfriends for girlie activities in this part of the world that I've moved to, I know that it's going to be a movie that I just have to watch all by myself. Awww, I miss my girlies back in KL dearly! Pathetic, yes, but life must go on?

Seriously, at this age and time, I'm just going to get on with what I feel like doing - sometimes I think too much and become a worry wart, but sometimes I just throw caution in the wind and go with my gut feelings. Yes, emotions speaking again, haha! Oh, that's what the movie is all about - go with your gut feelings... a woman's antennas / intuition... or whatever you want to name it. You learn from them all... every decision has its consequences. Cest la vie!

Speaking of guts, I sometimes think that men do not have the guts to watch such movies because it hits them squarely in the face as in how they've treated their women in the past, or even now. Even the Samantha Jones character have let her emotions ruled in spite of her cold, cold ways in dealing with blokes at most times over the past episodes.

I've even shed tears at several parts of the movie. Particularly when the Auld Lang Syne song was sung with many montages of the characters celebrating / tolerating yet another new year. Then I felt the emotions of disappointment portrayed by Carrie Bradshaw who was in a way, jilted by Big. Not that I have the experience of being jilted, but I can imagine myself going mad if I was in the Carrie Bradshaw character's shoes. I felt my anger rising when Big had his moments of cold feet leading up to the wedding. Then I felt the deep disappointment of Carrie going through her healing in Mexico where her bosom friends have swept her off to... the endless crying, and feeling of never wanting to wake up again and thinking that she's having a nightmare - the fine lines of being in-between worlds - surreal. This, anger and disappointment, I've faced before, and it hit a raw nerve in me that turned on the taps in my eyes.

My hubs had a major cold feet just a couple of months before the wedding. I swear, I've grown 10 years older due to that. Yup, lines that were never there before just turned up on my face and my eyes. Do men know of such, maybe they do but they chose to compartmentalise and look the other way or rather just shrug it off coldly that 'she'll survive and get over it'? Well, my experience tells that that most blokes would have no clue or in denial... can't handle emotions. Yup.

I've waited for my one love of a lifetime for ages - waited and tolerated. Not that I go with the same lines of the movie as in 'going to NY to find love'... I definitely did not head off to KL to find love, I was there for a better paying job, my freedom and of course, my privacy. Likewise in NY, no one's bothered with another's life, your friends are your family. So true as portrayed in the movie that a woman must keep her good girlfriends, and nurture them and cherish them. I have my set of girlfriends, and I remember pouring my heart out and crying endlessly and feel much better later when they've comforted me. At times of such, who wants hard facts of 'logical thinking'? I want empathy and tact - a touch of care and some good listening to. Doesn't take much, does it?

Well, today's chick flick really made my day and make me appreciate that I will always have my good girlfriends to live by eventhough they are hundreds to thousands of kilometers away.

Women - I celebrate myself for being one, and I'm glad to have deep emotions to feel by and to live by. What's the meaning in life when one slogs on in the world without emotions? Thanks to all chick flicks - makes me feel I'm not alone with just my emotions, it's universal! :D

Haunting pasts...

...was this big discussion that I had with several long-lost-but-found hometown friends. Everyone had their bits of stories and explanations to the past as in why they did this and that, and versions of 'what actually happened'. Some ask trying questions to see what's one's response, but what's the motive? Hmm...

The connection between old friends is all about re-enacting many things of the past while weaving it into digest-able stories. Perhaps there's some memorates involved, changing the facts a little as in a way to reason with the psyche of the story-teller.

So, the little me had my usual advice to my old friends... that is to just let go of the past and move on. After all, we are now living the future and not in the past. Easier said than done, of course, however it's the best piece of advice to help pacify and comfort the story-teller(s).

How I meant as a story-teller doesn't mean it's all about woven fibs, but it's all about things of the past that can no longer change. The change is to move on with things, and that is to take action in moving forward instead of paddling backwards with 'if I could turn back the clock, I'd do this and that'... fact of the matter is that it's over and done with, and life goes on.

Life as it is, is full of sad things if we want to focus on the negatives. It seems that the best formula is to focus on the positives and make the best out of it by applying to a current situation. I preach this, but sometimes I catch myself in the act of not walking the talk. Why? It's because I'm human and like all counsellors, you are able to counsel others but can't counsel yourself. Just like doctors who can't heal themselves. It's a fact. Why again? It's because when you are dealing with yourself, there's too much at emotions that get in the way, unless one is able to completely compartmentalise facts from emotions by taking oneself out of the equation and look at things from a 3rd party viewpoint. It works, but takes a lot of psyching oneself up for it.

I myself, sometimes get stuck in time warp in regards to pasts, and find the back of my eyes stinging with bitter tears and heart burning with anger, and my head throbs for answers... you know, all those works of the mind. Likewise, my old friends felt the same when they were confiding in me. Airing the past sometimes clears the air. A sign of healing from a past. All pasts whether perceived to be good or bad has to be categorised as 'good for us' before we could move on. Afterall, we didn't lose our lives during those trying times.

Whatever it is, it's all water under the bridge. We have today because of our past. Gotta go through trying times with all that doesn't add sparkle to life to finally come across the diamonds that will add value to life. Well, we can't get where we are today if we didn't learn from those dog-eared pasts. Peace and a mental handshake with the past. R.I.P. to all that past, you shall haunt no one no more.