Talk "the talk" and Walk "the walk"

What a total waste of time I've recently had trying to reason with a colleague-friend whom I dote on. That status of being 'doted on' is scraped off now. I'm facing for the umpteenth time, and witnessing discussions that went awry. If you want to gauge a "talk to a walk" journey, you will see very few who gets there if the ego is in the way. My dotee could talk 'the talk' but couldn't walk 'the walk'. It was disappointing to see another bites the dusk when he appears to be really righteous and filled with justice. Basically - you'd think 'this is a good bloke'.

Yes, the dotee is now a pup in my eyes, and has scored himself lots of points in the demented compartment for proudly and majestically calling himself a psycho dude. Poor me, the doter, mine eyes that have had once risen has now fallen. Turning 30 this year doesn't do him any justice either. So, another point proven - maturity doesn't necessarily move exponentially with age. Even if maturity hits him on the face, he won't see it... very sad.

Like a broken down record he kept calling himself that two-word-3-syllable thing... it was actually mentioned in almost every sentence, and sometimes twice in the same sentence but separated by a comma. Yes, worse still is that it was done in proud declaration. I could hear the echoes of it still, 'Everybody knows I'm a psycho dude-ude-de-e, and I tell them that I'm a psycho dude-ude-de-e', so they remember and know that I'm a psycho dude-ude-de-e'. Yeah, I forgot that one, there were 3 mentions of the word in a sentence. Voila! Bring out your DSMIV and add on a new word with a new definition, complete with a picture to 'say it all' (I'll provide the pix!).

Yes, I'm diversing because I'm still kicking myself for wasting my time (eventhough I was bored out of my darn fishy gills!). Ok, I'll hit back on the track... the topic was all on speeding, and mind you, I didn't start it, but he opened his rear end for it. If he wasn't whom I view as a friend, I would have word-lashed him left, right and centre, and whip him into a dollop of goobledegook cream. I was kind, so were the couple of girlie-colleagues and we had every opportunity to do a 'shove it', and do the 'up yours!!' kind of talk for his dumb remarks and unkind rebuttals.

It all began this way, we were bored out of our gills during an open day for the college. There were no flies to smack, no lollies to suck, and no coke to gargle and play bubbles with. Yes, we were THAT BORED! So, we got ourselves into a normal conversation that did not take flight to be a hypothetical one (I failed! *sniff* It was a no brainer!). We discussed a little bit of this and that on speeding - then something hypothetical came up (the opportunity was there!), but it was too intellectual for the psycho dude, and it went into a wrong valve of his, and got trapped in the 'no reasoning zone' compartment. So, in a gist, instead of us saying to him, "up yours!" for starting the fire. He turned it around and did an "up yours" on us, particularly me as if we started it? Strange?

It wasn't so strange in the beginning when the conversation started with traffic jams, lousy road systems etc, which eventually led me to relate to him and a few around me on how I almost got into an accident and truly couldn't brake on time but got lucky *somehow* that very morning. Girlie A said she's been there before too, so did Girlie B, and so did Psycho Dude.

So, all were in agreement that my story for the morning was empathised by all. To relate the scenario at the lobby, here goes:

I was relating the story that I driving within the speed limit of 90km/hr and had to come to a sudden stop right at the bend of the LDP highway. As I paused for a breathe, and Psycho dude quipped, "Speed kills". Still, I continued by admitting that I was scared shit and swore to slow down and anticipate for the worse when I get to any road bends in the future. Another quip from you-know-who, "Speed Kills" got inserted conveniently as I took another deep breathe. I paused as I was wondering what's the 'speed talk' all about when I was not talking of a speeding story? I looked at him for a split of a second with a little bit of 'wondering what's going on?', but continued my story... that cars were choc-a-bloc, motionless after a bend on the highway without anyone being able to see or antipate the jam starts from there? With everyone around me basically driving around 90km/hr down that LDP highway, without any forewarning, every car screeched with obvious emergency braking as nothing was moving ahead of us! Cars eventually and slowly inched forward, and finally found the culprit for the sudden jam - a couple of road cleaners waving a red flag for everyone to drive only on the right lane (in a two-lane highway) so that no one will run over the small bump of rubbish they swept up on the left side of the road. Only in Malaysia one would have almost a 110 degree corner going uphill, and some silly road sweepers doing their job at 8:30am rush hour on a higihway - who could see beyond that bend, and who would anticipate a couple of sweepers doing their duty at that time?

Nevertheless, when I ended my story, a third quip came through, "Speed Kills" says the dude, a.k.a. psycho. Then, the drama of a conversation took flight from this point :

Girlie A said: "Hey, you say speed kills, but you speed too what?" (in jesting manner)

Psycho: "Yeah, but I know what I'm doing" (in a sudden defensive mode)

Me: "Yeah, there will never be accidents if everyone on the road says that". (Uh oh, me and my big mouth of factual speeches.)

Psycho: "Yeah, I speed, and everybody knows that I'm the ***** **** (please don't make me repeat this again, scroll up and read)"

Me: "Would you still speed if you are ferrying your loved ones?"

Psycho: "Yes, because they all know that I am the ***** ****, and I tell them that I'm a ***** ****, and they know that I'm a ***** **** before they get into my car. I know they will all be safe in my car. It's fate and it's up to them"

Me: "So, as long as they agree to be in your car, they will be at your mercy because you rely on fate. Isn't it better to be safe than to be sorry?"

Girlie A: "Ya lar, you said speed kills, so where's your responsibility? If I'm driving by myself, I sometimes speed, but if I have someone in the car, I slow down because I think of others.

Psycho: "EVeryone knows I'm a crazy driver on the road. I tell them first, and people are scared when they are in my car, but after a few times, they get used to it"

Girlie A: "What if accident happens? How can you be so selfish?"

Psycho: "So? This is me, and this is the way I am. I am the ***** ****"

Me: "So, hypothetically speaking, if you are driving someone you love, and the person dies in your car while you are speeding, you will still have this stand and you call it fate?"

Psycho: "Yes" (He has begun shaking his legs in irritation)

Me: "So, this means that you are not responsible for your loved ones' lives?"

Psycho: "You are illogical, woman! I have already said that I am the way I am. I'm the ***** **** man, and everybody knows it. What do you want me to say? You want me to say that I am selfish / irresponsible? Fine, then I am selfish and irresponsible! Happy? You are not making any sense and I don't understand a word you are saying! This conversation is going no where!"

Me: "Well, this is a simple discussion with a hypothetical scenario. Of course, you can be what you want to be. Being hypothetical is fine too in getting to know what people think. Sometimes people agree to disagree and disagree to agree all the time and still be fine. Why the aggitation?

Psycho: "You are irritating me"

Me: "Fine, I'll accept your explanation, and it's still fine for anyone to ask anything or answer anything they like. I'll agree to disagree, and you may disagree to agree. I do push the envelop a little for one to think beyond one's comfort level"

Psycho: "What is pushing the envelop? What envelop? You make no sense, you hear me? Just stop here! Everybody knows that I'm the *again* (raising his voice and no longer looking at me, and shaking his legs frantically).

At that point, I realised that I'm speaking to someone who is just plain "Yar Marn" (This is a Hakkha for someone who has no reasoning, and only aspire to win no matter what and how, and can turn violent if he / she didn't get his / her way).

To make things worse, he's not well-read, can never "take" but only "give". So, I decided to just walk away, and headed straight to the toilet (100 feet away). When I was on my way back to the lobby, another new colleague guy was sitting there (let's call him Guy A, as he was so eavesdropping all along), apparently sat facing me and when he saw me, his lips moved, saying, "Here she comes again". With that, I couldn't resist but deliberately walk over again and said to Guy A, "I saw you were saying "Here she comes again. Don't fan the situation". Guy A sat back, agaped and agawked. Then I turned to Psycho dude, "There isn't a need to be so irritated. We can still have our beers together even after this conversation. I accept your reasonings, and I've sat in your car numerous times before and I did almost throw up twice due to your speeding and sudden braking. So, cool it". Psycho Dude replied, while shaking his legs frantically again, "I'm not irritated. I don't care what other people think. I know who I am and what I am, I'm the *again*". I said, "Ok". He quickly answered, "Mm" but shook his legs even at a faster speed that I could feel him generating some cool air near my legs. With that, I walked away, knowing that he wants to have the last word, no matter how and what. So, while I was walking away, my mind quickly came up with 8 lessons that I've learned for the day:

LESSON #1: Never to have intelligent talks or sensible discussions with people who are set in their ways. They are just plain "yar marn".

LESSON # 2: Not every friend can take straight talks and see that you mean well.

LESSON #3: No matter what age a person's at, if he/she doesn't want to think, he / she just wouldn't to think. Give up! Full Stop.

LESSON # 4: Education level counts (at most times). Those who read will always have better thinking skills and better grasp on vocabulary, theories, figurative speeches, analogies etc.

LESSON $ 5: If you meet a 'yar man' person whom you care for, just behave like a bimbo. It will salvage your friendship as it makes the person feel smarter and could probably teach you a trick or two.

LESSON #6: Men's ego rules. Chauvenism is not dead yet, but chivalry has died with a sad whimper. Eventhough a discussion is not heading to ego land, it will still end up being a pawn in the battle of ego. Just look pretty and agree to everything he says if he means something to you.)

LESSON #7: This is a true manifestation of the Napoleon syndrome, it's not just a short Chinese man thing, but all races have it.

LESSON #8 (most important!!): To accept as a fact that there will always be people who could talk 'the talk' and never ever walk 'the walk' eventhough they opened up their loop hole of a mouth first.

WHAT A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!!!