Where did all that love go?

My car tires screeched as I turned at a sharp bend into the driveway of a restaurant today to pick up a male friend who was stranded by his wife. Yup, last minute calls of such: "Where are you, Angela? Can you do me a favour?" *Sigh* Same old, same old... and I made it to the restaurant in just 15 mins from a usual 25 mins from work. This is not beginning to sound good, "Angie to the rescue"... is beginning to rhyme with "Lassie to the rescue"... snap yer fingers and I'll run to rescue... geez.

This time is almost the worst ever... both the hubby (Y)& wifey (J)went out for a nice lunch together on their day off from work, but ended up having one of the most bitter quarrels ever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I thought Y was about to have a heart attack the moment he got into the car (I swear I've never seen a man so angry before... his hand on his heart and he was breathing like he ran a marathon!).

According to him, they had a major mouth war in the restaurant which was sparked from a simple topic - picking a name for their coming baby... (J's well into her 3rd month pregnancy now)... which led to many other issues of this and that. At one point, she stood up, grabbed the car keys and ran out crying and sped off in the car leaving him in the restaurant. While Y was telling me all these, his phone kept ringing, and I could see that it was J calling and he refused to pick it up. Seems like J's moving out tonight to a hotel, and will be dumping their daughter to her mother's place, while Y's going to pack up all her stuff from the house and place it at the road side because the house is his and he doesn't want her in the house anymore! Tomorrow they'll both be seeing a lawyer!!! Geez! How could this be? Why so harsh and reactive? Both these persons are adults and approaching their mid 30s!

I kept thinking "Where did all that love go?". Yup, and amongst my friends and myself, we've always said this is a marriage made in heaven (but what has gone wrong after 10 years?). They were so in love, and we've always admired them (role models, I'd say!). They are about the prettiest couple that you'll ever lay eyes on, and a beautiful 4-year-old to complete the pretty picture... and another baby coming along soon. I just can't figure out how could things be so bitter despite all these?

I was silent most of the time while I was driving Y back to his house. When I reached the house, his gate was wide opened and the car was in the garage. In the car, I could see J was slouched over the steering wheel, sobbing her eyes out with both hands in her hair! Y saw that too, but he said something really harsh about her crying... and how immuned he is to her tears... and he refused to go in and asked me to drive elsewhere, but I asked him to go home and rest as I need to work. I tried to advise him, "Please don't say anything when you are angry, if she can't be calm, you'll have to take lead to be the calm one. Too many hurtful things have been said today, and both of you might live to regret them later... so calm down and take a good rest... talk again when you have both calmed down". He said, "It's easier said than done, Angela, you're single, so stay that way. You won't understand what I'm going through. This marriage is over". I said, "Where did all the love go?", and he replied bitterly, "What love?"... and with that, he opened the car door and left and made a sign that he'll call later. He walked past the car and totally ignored her (she's still in the car) in the garage and went into the house, and I sped off ... thinking whether I should get down and comfort her... but felt that it's Y's & J's job to handle and deal with the marriage at a more mature level. So, I chose to drive off - just to stay away from all these - so mixed up!

To tell the truth, I'm shaken by today's episode. Though it has nothing to do with me, but the thought of ever going through such things personally, left both my hands and feet cold. Nothing comes in a bed of roses, but having said this, I don't know if I can go through such bitterness esp. those that tugs the strings of my heart - I might end up in a nut house?

My mind kept bouncing back to the image of poor J, slouched in the car sobbing her eyes out, and needing of comfort. I don't want to be in her position, and I think of Y, I don't want to be in his position either. I know how harsh and insensitive Y can be when he's pissed off, as I've known him longer than J. Y's a good friend, but too bloody egoistic and filled with expectations for how J should be like... and he never tells the 'truth' of how he feels, but flaps around her in frustration and agitation whenever he's unhappy with things. While J is on constant confusion, which made her a little neurotic and inferior whether she's doing the right thing or not. Both are guilty of having their own sets of expectations. Ah... typical... I've seen this before, not only in my own life, but also in others. I understand both of them and their frustrations, but why aren't they understanding each other?

Each time I hear of such things, the more fear I have for taking risks for love and less faith I have for sustaining love. I'm turning more into a cynic each day... While thinking of all these, I got a little upset with how tricky life could be and how ideals could turn out to be nightmares. | ended up getting lost in my thoughts and people that I know who are in a rut with their love ones all seeped into my thoughts at the same time. I eventually lost my sense of direction on the roads too - was in a road maze for an hour and couldn't see anything familiar around me - I didn't get back to work till it was almost 2pm --> almost 2 whole hours taken off work to help friends! *Sigh* I wonder whether they will help me when I'm in trouble one day.

I'm a little depressed with all these, and went to bed the moment I got home. I've been awake for 3 hours now, and will go back to get more sleep now... say a quick prayer for them to get back together, most of all for the healing of broken hearts in this world, in this case, I hope there'll be two less broken hearts tonight. Tomorrow will be a better day... that's my only element of hope.