Haunting pasts...

...was this big discussion that I had with several long-lost-but-found hometown friends. Everyone had their bits of stories and explanations to the past as in why they did this and that, and versions of 'what actually happened'. Some ask trying questions to see what's one's response, but what's the motive? Hmm...

The connection between old friends is all about re-enacting many things of the past while weaving it into digest-able stories. Perhaps there's some memorates involved, changing the facts a little as in a way to reason with the psyche of the story-teller.

So, the little me had my usual advice to my old friends... that is to just let go of the past and move on. After all, we are now living the future and not in the past. Easier said than done, of course, however it's the best piece of advice to help pacify and comfort the story-teller(s).

How I meant as a story-teller doesn't mean it's all about woven fibs, but it's all about things of the past that can no longer change. The change is to move on with things, and that is to take action in moving forward instead of paddling backwards with 'if I could turn back the clock, I'd do this and that'... fact of the matter is that it's over and done with, and life goes on.

Life as it is, is full of sad things if we want to focus on the negatives. It seems that the best formula is to focus on the positives and make the best out of it by applying to a current situation. I preach this, but sometimes I catch myself in the act of not walking the talk. Why? It's because I'm human and like all counsellors, you are able to counsel others but can't counsel yourself. Just like doctors who can't heal themselves. It's a fact. Why again? It's because when you are dealing with yourself, there's too much at emotions that get in the way, unless one is able to completely compartmentalise facts from emotions by taking oneself out of the equation and look at things from a 3rd party viewpoint. It works, but takes a lot of psyching oneself up for it.

I myself, sometimes get stuck in time warp in regards to pasts, and find the back of my eyes stinging with bitter tears and heart burning with anger, and my head throbs for answers... you know, all those works of the mind. Likewise, my old friends felt the same when they were confiding in me. Airing the past sometimes clears the air. A sign of healing from a past. All pasts whether perceived to be good or bad has to be categorised as 'good for us' before we could move on. Afterall, we didn't lose our lives during those trying times.

Whatever it is, it's all water under the bridge. We have today because of our past. Gotta go through trying times with all that doesn't add sparkle to life to finally come across the diamonds that will add value to life. Well, we can't get where we are today if we didn't learn from those dog-eared pasts. Peace and a mental handshake with the past. R.I.P. to all that past, you shall haunt no one no more.