Kismet

Blogging has been in my mind for a while, but I don't have enough hours in the day to spare and spill my heart's contents through writing anyway *sniff*. Yes, writing is amongst my first loves, not that I have many, first loves, that is :). Sometimes I imagine myself, making a living out of writing, and writing things that I love to write out of a hobby that also helps to earn myself a living. Perhaps my dream of such a kismet or 'fate' may come true if I pray hard enough? It doesn't matter, I'm happy with God's Will and Providence.

Speaking of Will and Providence, my dearest is a man of few words. Sometimes I think that God has His humour with me with my irony of loving quietness but do-not-do-much-to-promote-it kind of personality. Somehow, I prefer quietness but sometimes find quietness deafening where I'd do anything to fill the silence with words.

Sometimes, my man of few words is so quiet that I mentally do the finger counting of the quiet seconds that tick by. When he chooses to speak, I too unconsciously sum up his words, not that I'm into keeping count. It's a fact that I'm the wordy one who sometimes ignore punctuations, and is obnoxious with blarring run on sentences. I sometimes even imagine that my continuous wordiness drives my man-of-few-words to seek solace in a silent assylum :) - the cave, in the form of his books and guitar-playing *grin*. Ah, the technical bits of gender communication.

Is it good or bad? That's my famous quizzical line. Indeed, our verbal communication isn't as heavy as it used to be, once even clocking in an 8-hour conversation over the phone (inclusive of pee-breaks). Those days of madness are of course, gone.

Today, there are few words to exchange with each other, other than informing each other of our accounts of the day. After that, we may halt to a silence - not comfortable all the time, but acceptable silence. However, the silence is not to be read as a dry patch in our love life, but a sense of comfort with each other's space and the reality of work, limited hours in a day, and most of all, living a life.

Life as it is, and as human as we are, our relationship have it's many facets of communication. We have our moments of telepathy, our meeting of minds across the ocean, prayers, netspace and space. There isn't a need to fill each quiet moment with words, as understanding his quietness with my own quietness is our honesty in acceptance and respect for each other. If there is nothing to say, there's just nothing to say. We are basically not mad-happening people who are at every happening scene in the city! We are humans. At least, these are my interpretations.

Interpreting can be tricky, as I do not want to over-read nor under-read things that are between the lines. In fact, there may not be anything between the lines at all, and it could be all in funny imagination.

However, it's definitely not an imagination on my end that my feelings are still true and strong, and I believe he is too, at the same page as I am. Our few words to each other should not, and do not water down the facts to who, what and where we are.

Being the way we are, our missing of each other is evident, and it's not only a blinking sign for us to get together again, but also a sign of comfort or contentment in being with each other. Being together again would be the ideal situation (not long to go as I'm doing my countdown), as we'll get to do things together e.g. witnessing scenarios together that ranges from walking to dining, churching to family gatherings etc. It's all in communion of togetherness, in the name of love, and in being God-fearing to realise all these. Through all these it gives more meaning to our five senses, brings our experiences and companionship and comradeship to life. It's a form of reassurance, and security blanket that we are just as much into each other as before.

As before, now and the future, we are ever grateful for our Sweet Lord's blessings, providence and faith that has walked us through our darkest hours of doubt and helplessness. We will not be where we are today without God's grace and mercy. How beautiful it is for us to share the same beliefs.

So, few words he may have, it doesn't matter, because we believe in each other, and reunite under the same Father Almighty. Consolidating our faith in a miniature church we've built in our hearts, and in communion with the mass through our togetherness is all that we want in our lives - simplicity. We will walk together through the thick and thin of times, and continue in our prayers for each other. I believe, he knows that he's all the man that I ever want in my life, and I know that I am all that he ever wants in his life, and this is kismet, our kismet :).