The Arrogance of Youth

Do we blame it on the media or the internet for this? Or it's just peer pressure? Maybe a lack of parental guidance somewhere along the lines, or something else? *shrug* I can't help myself but to see how hedonistic our youth are... and how they couldn't differentiate actions of disrespect to honesty. How farfetched they are about issues of sex and life by trying to live up to the lifestyles of the 4 women in 'sex & the city'. Fiction mistakenly taken as Frictions of experiences in life!!! Sheesh!

Over the week, I had spent some time with two 20 something girlies (one is 23 and the other is 25 years of age) at different locations and time - basically catching up on life. You know, the kind of big talk from them about the world of men, jobs of the millennium etc. I found the discussion on men a bit boring, as I'd rather discuss of something more indepth and philosophical but had to entertain them since I knew that they are of that mentality and age - basically willing to experiment with their bodies .

So, these two girlies wanted to experience everything ranging from having 'good sex' to other 'good times' boozing, and leisure holidays to making it as a millionaire by the time that they hit their 30s. Such is the fairytale of the modern world. As they talked, my brain buzzed in pain, and at the end, I was so coiled up and turned off - I squinted at them... they really brought the old nun out of me.

For some reason, they were always rebellious towards my advice to them just to prove me wrong. Silly girls, why aren't they grasping the concepts that they live their own lives at the end of the day, and not to prove to others what is right and wrong? Ethics and moral is learned at a young age, and imparted by parents and all those around us - we are an educated lot - why experiment with our bodies as if we have 9 lives of a cat?

Anyway, they'd kick me in the teeth at times (not in a physical violence sense, but get really obnoxious and insolent - you get the drift!), yet when they are broken up, they come running back to me saying that 'they've realised' and expect me to comfort them! The 23 year-old-one, was in such a great big hurry to grow up, buying property that she could hardly afford and hopped in to live with a man whom she didn't really get to know proper yet, got herself into big debts by running a fast track life in fine dining and elavating herself into a celebrity-like class, make little jaunts from country to country to have an 'overseas experience'... you name it, you've got it. Even got into several accidents due to drunk driving too - thinking that as long as she has not passed out, she is still in control of herself. Good thing that all 3 accidents did not involve robbing someone of his/her life. Now, all that turned around and gave her two tight slaps on the face as the man turned out to be dodgy and dumped her, hence leaving her houseloan thingy hanging, putting her into lots of debts. Now, she said she's learned, but what's the use? - she has aged tremendously. Those eyes no longer belong to a 23 year old, her appearance haggard and tired - it's a look that we've seen in women who are hard-done by. She's now back to looking me up, regretful, however not too late to start her life all over again.

The 25-year-old going on to 26 on the other hand, is a big time nymphomaniac. Flitting from one relationship to the next, always looking out for more creative ways to reach the big 'O'. Yes, guess who's her idol? - Who else, but Samantha Jones of Sex & the City series. She's into trendy fashion, branded goods, and pseudo 'class' of the rich and famous - but nothing matches up - a wannabe. I asked her to improve her language skills as the only way to upgrade herself based on her interest of work. She is frustrated with life, never being able to get the man she wants, or a job she wants. Somehow, she doesn't do anything to help herself, always saying, "I want to try everything at least once"... ok, try.... she's still in a dodgy job, gets picked up by dodgy men who'd use her for sex, trash her and squeeze the remaining monies out of her, they even gave her STDs. She'd call me up in the middle of the night crying away, and never bothered to think whether I'm sleeping or is inconvenienced by those repetitive calls. I'd listen, and would advise, but she'd insult me back by calling me a failure for being too careful in my life. Wow! Amazing, isn't it, the replies get more abusive each time? This morning was the last straw... she made a trip to Hong Kong to meet up a net friend 'just to have sex' over the last weekend. Got home last night just to give me a full detailed account of "how ugly and non-performer" he was. I got really angry hearing it of course, and told her to stop telling me because I'm not interested. Her reply? "You're just jealous, because you never get to do such things in your life". Errrr???!!!! I'm going to cut her off, I have enough of such characters in my life.

At least the 23 year old seemed to have learned, but the 25 year old? Geez.... Last week, they seemed to have drifted down more to reality... but started bragging about what good times they had with men, the kind of kinky things they did, and so forth, basically showing off. I asked each of them, whether they go round telling other people around them of their experiences as well. They proudly said, "Yes". I asked them - "What did they say / retort in return?". They both had similar replies to this effect: "They said, wow, you're so young and you've been through all that?". They beamed proudly, taking such comments as 'compliments' to their achievement. I was disgusted, of course... and my reply was the same to both, "Look deeper into these people's eyes when they say that to you - it's not about them admiring you, it's them looking down on you that you have messed up your life... we are humans, we reason with a brain and not go with 'instincs' to just 'do it' ... even some animals don't do it." They kept quiet, and I continued, "your experiences should be kept to yourself, and those are trials and errors that you've made in life - it's nothing to be proud of, it's sad, and it has made you complicated today and appear dodgy to some out there. The more you talk about it, the more people will use them as points of references to your future failures in life, and use you as examples of 'dodgy women that are not to be taken seriously'... ."

I couldn't understand why they cannot grasp the concept of 'being humans, we reason, instead of rushing into emotive decisions'. All the 'I can't help myself' are just excuses. Who does not have needs in life? Who do not have hormonal fluctuations? It's all about getting busy with other things and 'let the moments pass' instead of having to 'service' them there and then. Everyone 'reasons' in different ways, it's a matter of discerning what's the best route to take for the best outcome, at least one that will not have to always involve using one's body to experiment. Strange that 'experiences' can be interpreted into so many ways too. To experience is to gain knowledge. To gain knowledge can be via observation, research, talking to people, understanding different viewpoints, learning by example and so forth. Of course, there are always trials and errors in learning, but what we can avoid, we avoid, as we don't throw ourselves in the middle of the road if there's heavy traffic. We are all precocious in our time, it's the way we process things in our heads, and how to approach things, solve problems etc Hmm... I don't know - I give up! I feel so old after speaking to them.

That very night, I spoke to a much older friend, basically downloading my frustrations of dealing with these two. My friend's advice to me, "Just leave them be, let them learn, it's their lives. 20-somethings are immature and the worse types are the ones you're dealing with as they always think that they know better than you. So, whatever you say to them, they will never understand because they are blinded with arrogance of youth. So, don't waste your time advising them." True enough, I think I will put a stop to all advising from now on. Another thing that I've noticed (though I never quite admitted it either) - there's mainly a generation gap involved as well. In my 20s, I remember being with my friends... and we used to talk about being angry, and basically were rebellious in our own ways, but never quite experimental with our own bodies by sleeping around, or dare to think that 'we live for ourselves only' as if our families don't matter and so forth. Why? It's our dignity, and well-grounded ethics and moral.

Hence, I've come to a conclusion on this... precociousness amongst our 20-something-Asian-girls have taken quite a different route. Being materialistic and using their own bodies to experiment things are a common phenomenon, and they feel that they are at the top of the world and they can get away with everything. Such is the arrogance of youth!