A Singleton's Sense and Sensitivities

Being a single and independent mid-30s woman is about the most wonderful experience ever. It is in the surety of what she wants, what she needs and how she reasons with the world, and not to mention... having her own spending power.

Her sense and sensitivities are not just skirted around herself, as being considerate is the key and philosophy of life. Yet, she affirms her position in beliefs, thoughts, and opinion. She has embarked in her journey to become rounded around the edges that leadd to the road of self-actualisation.

The common sense she posseses is filled with sense and sensitivities. She relates herself to the world and vice versa, and balances out both impromptu and slow-processed decisions. Being single is a mixture of her choice and God's plan. She knows that if she is to be matched, her time will come. If God did not match her with anyone (yet), she accepts without mulling over how her biological clock is ticking. She knows that her existence, her being in this journey of many uncertainties has it's certainties in part of God's plans. She can rave on in life with focused confidence and God's providence. Hence, she sought for His kingdom first, and know that all will fall into place.

As for the her sixth sense, her intuition is in the process of being fine-tuned to perfection. The mileage of wisdom is gained continues from this point onwards. Though she allows room for mistakes, she remembers to be kind rather than always be right. In experience, she takes constructive criticism with grace, and knows that when the wall crumbles, the challenge is to be able to stand up and walk again.

She dares to dream, though she treads more carefully in view of lessons she learned in the past. Her dreams has the edge of a better tomorrow, one that shares her life with significant others - family, future spouse, future children inter alia. They are far from gullible fairytales, but they can be tall lorders, but she dares to still work out for a better tomorrow. She knows that to married is a bonus if she is matched, or to celebrate singlehood if she is unmatched. She will not let anyone else tells her how to lead her life.

However, the world hardly sees it that way, as being single is being self-centred. Since this is penned down by a Singleton, it makes sense to her. The world believes that sharing seems to be everything. In the absence of marriage, there has to be companionship as the world sees it. Eventhough companionship or marriageship and all those in ships are expected to link with romanticism or lust for life, it could present itself in the form of twosomes, sometimes, sadly, threesomes or more. There are even occasions where Singletons could be recruited into the facade of coupledom that may either yield to eventual splitsville, but with a little blessing and effort, there could be a fairytale-happy-ending.

In friendship, one can observe that she is never lack in the social skills department. She can have hoards of friends in their 20-something, and a handful of die-hard really good ones in their 40s, while a fast-dimishing number of 30-something girlfriends who have lost their respect for singlehood, or embittered with singlehood, or plain deliriously happily married and spreading the get-hitched gospel whether one wants to hear it or not. Such is life, the many characters in her journey in celebrating herself.

She continuously keeps in touch with her youth and vanity by having 20-something friends eventhough this group do not measure up to her maturity level at times. When they do - bingo, she feels at home. Her cynicism is beyond this group, her reasonings too, at times bring out the rebellion in the 20-somethings. However, the main simbiotic relationship between the 20s and the 30s is to celebrate the grandeur of girlieness and appreciate little blessings in life that could be muddled and blurred by the cynicism of aging. Youth doesn't last a lifetime, and she knows it. Hence, she makes the best of it.

On the other hand, those who are her age, in couplehood, singlehood or otherhood, mostly have a competitive edge. She knows who to avoid, and keeps only a small handful of same aged girlfriends.

Comparitively, she has more good 40-something girlfriends than those of her age group. This is her way of looking into the future of life, and how she'd shape herself to be when she reaches their age. Such friends are very dear to her, she loves them and sometimes loathe them for being right. However, she has the grace to accept, and know that friends of such are to be kept for life.

A singleton's journey is indeed a lonely one at times, but there's more joy than sadness that can be brought about by coupledom and otherdom. It's a place where no parents nor friends and others could understand, it's individualistic. Though there may be some individuals who share the like-mindedness, but how one deals with it's single status could differ greatly. Hence, continuing to dream, taking risks, loving people with all her heart and hurting like no one has ever hurt her before, is all that she knows will strengthen her to be stronger for the future.