Contemplating a moment of Greek Madness

Winter in Greece numbs and quickens this head of mine,
A drunken love like this makes everything seems so fine,
Warm and passionate sensations drives me out of line,
Such diversity, yet everything tastes sweeter than wine.

Different time zones keep me in a drunken daze,
This must give joy to the devil in creating a maze,
Pleasing actions and words sets my passion ablaze,
Rose-tinted lenses in my irises, in awe, I gaze.

Unspoken love shared whenever our lips and eyes meet,
Embracings, passionate as always, lingering, never a-fleet,
Like a little woman, I'm at home on Periandou street,
Awaiting his homecoming, I impatiently shuffled my feet.

Silent, idle mind! The devil's shifting my thoughts in fleets,
Flashbacks a-plenty on moments between the sheets,
Womanly needs shaming me, tainting my cheeks red as beets,
Still, in manly amusement and acceptance he hessitantly greets.

Besides these, sense and sensibilities seep into my mind,
Prying my eyes open to little things he and I may find,
Literacies of times shared, carnally, we naturally fit and bind,
A union entwining spiritual & sinful pleasures - a deception of a kind?

Thoughts flipping back and forth to December 2004, oh dear,
Hurts a-plenty, unforgotten but forgiven, are crystal-clear,
Patience is God bestowed, still, it's the betrayal of trust I fear,
My non-existence echoes in this apartment, my heart and eyes tear.

Clarification to her is absent, as evidence of me can't be revealed,
Wordy assurances a-plenty, but why my presence to her, concealed?
Bridges he shall burn not, a safety net to not have his fate sealed?
His words of love seem true, or just salve to my heart to be healed?

Are those the same sheets she has laid on while calling his name?
In throes of passion, he numbly finds me and her all the same?
Love and lust - does he have moral values and not burn in shame?
Who he is? What is he? I now know not, afterall, he is not that tame.

Secrets he keep, neither Romanians nor Malaysians can understand,
Parents alike find this mind-boggling, and they too, cannot stand,
His choice to be indecisive make our minds constrict and expand,
Decisions he makes must be his own, and not for others to command?

Of commitment he speaks, they are all 'in the air' and yet to be seen?
Promising as it seems, the actions can't match as should have been,
'We're similar' - but no that's not true, we're even different on screen,
Excuses a-plenty, his habitual ways, or something else in between?

Bedpartners, aside fornications are always consensual,
Galling excuses given, as there's none for intimacy to be sensual,
Something is wrong somewhere if this is looked upon as casual,
'As it is' is often phrased, I'm expected to accept it's his way, as usual.

I must be an idiot to swallow this down and be forgiving,
I don't need such abusive treatment, my sanity needs saving,
Acquaintanceship, but bedpartners? There must be some craving,
Behind my back, between the sheets yonder, they have been loving.

If this continues on, it's a dead end and will never bring happiness,
On the fence, he'll perch, his comfort zone, or just Greek madness?
Beats me why I'm longing for him in his height of selfishness,
The more strength I must draw now, to find solace in loneliness.

When I go, hurt may engulf him, but he'll heal and be in denial,
Romanian there, will still have roles in his life-sized TV serial,
I go uncommunicatively, unpicked calls, still, I know he will redial,
Too late, my disappointments are real, not as he thought as trivial.

A fool I must be, in believing this is ever a love of a lifetime,
My heart, still bleeds at the same spot, even pickled in lime,
Sooner or later, all emotions will lose it's meaning over time,
'Wake up', I say, 'He's probably not worthy of my dime'.

At last, face-to-face we're here, diplomacy kept the peace on-going,
Unsolved past bounced like tennis balls across the court - *boing*,
Surety in a nanosecond, but eyes reflect uncertainties - he is nano-ing,
It's in the expense of my time, leisurely drifting, not swiftly canoeing.

With ears sharper than a hare's, all kinds of signals I receive,
Like a hawk, my trained eyes are ever-ready to perceive,
Though in fear I dread, I still purge all suspicions I may conceive,
My prayers rhymes in melancholy, in faith his love is to not deceive.

All histories of his dastard behaviours towards me, I will forgive,
My forgiveness spurred an "I'm lucky" response, and not of repentive,
Of Catholic faith he practices, I'm in denial that he is not manipulative,
God's blessings I trust, time will tell in His wisdom and strength in me.

I'm here in flesh and blood, everything settles 'ok' - momentarily?
Silly me, perhaps my presence satisfies and satiates temporarily,
When I fly home, off to Romania he may hop, indeed, quite merrily,
He'll justify and say, "you're too faraway", quite satisfactorily.

'Fool, fool, fool, you've seen this before', I repeat monotonously,
A king of proscastinators that he is, sadly, always, continuously,
A dreamer like him, has no love in return, don't hold him tenaciously,
'Walk away like you did to others before him, walk away graciously'.

So much of contemplating that I am going through, I want a closure,
Not that Greece is displeasuring, but it's madness gives 'no pleasure',
Sadly, two women sits on each side of a scale - what's there to measure?
Both looks at the man, who is in denial which of us is his treasure.

I'm here for love, the only priority of why I gave this a chance,
He knows it, but still thinks himself lucky of my second glance,
When I look intently at him and question, like a horse, he'll prance,
Still, strangely enough, our chemistry still keeps us both in a trance.

Still, in fervent prayers I cite, fending off the evil one's experiments,
Only God's protection, insanity is at bay, removing deceptive torments,
Prayers of relinquishment we commit, "God, guide all our movements",
In faith, this Greek madness must depart in God's timely moments.