Lily-white life

I prefer to believe that I led that life all my life since I have a few greyish spots here and there. Yup, they are just lil' specks on that lily that are non-permanent, and amongst them, my love for a nicotine kick.

So, this got me to thinking as I've been working up and down the hill of corporate, marketing, business development, in-house training and all the blahs in the name of the academia industry. Right on, and 'big deal', aye? All those that I've worked with and for were interested to know all the syrupy sweet nothings that ever marred my lily-white responses. The thing is that, dressing and demeanor counts in being criss-crossed and mauled thoroughly to be fitted into the non-lily-white category. Bloody hell, what's the big deal about knowing someone else's private life?

Not even a few alcoholic drinks and honey-glib tongued individuals could unzip my choice of my preferred lifestyle. Perhaps being moulded and expected to be lily-white played a role my habit-forming qualities. Though some may prefer to view it as Lord of the Ring's hobbit-forming qualities - so what?

I sat in front of my desk, having tuesday blues instead of the ordinary monday blues (since I was off work yesterday to do my filial-daughter bits), and read all the junk in my mail box. Apart from my subrscribed scientific researches of proofs and mad findings of behaviours, issues and new drugs / cure for diseases, I've noticed a whole of non-subscribed junk sitting arrogantly in my mailbox. I'm always amazed at how many crazy viagra linked emails and porn there are, including those of miraculous cures and drugs for the materialistic orgasm-crazed world's demands that have resulted to the churning of such junk mails. I got really annoyed, highlighted the lot and sent it to the spam bin.

Then in one of my subscribed researches, a link on some ediets findings popped up, announcing this title: one-night stands - the good, bad and the ugly. That caught my eye, all right, because I know of insurmountable people who went into such experiences with their eyes wide opened. I never understood 'why', and how the hell did they not be responsible for their actions as decent human beings. Of course, I'll leave the men thing out, as men are mostly useless bastards who'd think through their pants more of 'the moment of orgasmic bliss' than their brains and heart. Women who went into these, on the other hand, are just plain in denial about having equality and revenge. It doesn't matter what ethnicity we are, and at which society, women are women. Furthermore, women always end up in the shorter sticky stick than men who have all the liberty of sowing their seeds and droppings like birds. Many women and men who read this may have violent disagreements and may be defensive if they have been 'through the experience'. Why be defensive and react and feel as if I'm talking about them if there's never any wrong or discomfort towards it?

Anyway, I have different argument from violent rejecters of my lily-white thoughts. They think that I'm 'missing out' in life. I kindly ask, "What's there to miss out when you know yourself and who and what you are in the first place? Takes character and wisdom to swim against the worldly currents. Why let lily-white complexions and insides be the butt of a joke? Tainted lives can never be transformed back to lily-whiteness, and I refuse to be a grey lily. That's my choice, my dignity and my right to my own body and mind." I get a smirk in reply, and a big round of sparring and thrusting for the sake of 'who will win the argument'. Is the smirk and argument supposed to get to me?

I wonder what it takes for one to just 'win' without a rationale - all the arguments and harsh words? It's ok by me if they just want to win in the conversation, and they should know better that it's their bodies and mental state they are dealing within themselves, not me. It's sad that many do not realise that the only person that will be with 'you' all your life, is 'you'. Sigh... we truly live in a fallen world, filled with myths and denials and failed trials in life and all the false testimonies and gusto arguments of proving others' wrong. It's best to learn by examples, observations, and Godliness... some things in life, we just don't have to experience it because we don't live long enough to experience everything in the world and waste all that percious time to heal from continuous series of pains and hurts from proven dead-end and mentally-exhausting experiences.