A time to be strident...

Deep conversations and ideas usually crop up between the puffs of cancer sticks and exhaling concentrated carbon dioxide! There we are, Doreen girlie and I, 10 years apart in biological age from each, but ironically equal in our strident and snooty ways. Some things can neither be watered down by years nor segregated by age.

Anyhoo, the topic was all about 'grooming our future kids to be Chinese Eds in oppose to English Eds' to produce parental-desired-result-children. Doreen's reasoning is a spot on in reflection to her self-examination and empathy for her parents, 'I don't want my kids to be like me, so strident, rebellious and snooty!' Well, me on the other hand, unregretful and cheerleading to have my kids to be just like me, swam right to the opposite end of Doreen's reasoning. It'll be interesting to have kids as strident a.k.a. willful as I am. Hah!

So, food for thoughts, are strident behaviours moulded or innate? Definitely moulded to an extent, but sometimes it's just in the genes, afterall, I am the way I am because I'm my parents' child. Lions cannot have lambs for children.

We love our parents and other authorities to an extent (this is not convincing, so let me reword it --> we obey because most of us fear punishment and the wrath of God for disrespecting). Yes, that's it! Absolutely and no doubt about it! BUT, where do we draw the line in deciding what we want for ourselves from what our parents want out of us? I see many parents, living their dreams through their children, making them do all sorts of things to make up for the loss times of what their very own parents couldn't afford or lack of planning then to give them due opportunities to do what they dreamt of... Here we go again!

So, these thoughts snowballed to a different dimension, though I see it's links. Take for example, for all that I've observed in my very limited span of work life and life as a whole, it's the strident ones that got to see more of the world, and love life more for themselves than to just live for others (including parents). Rebellious or selfish, may all strident children be called, but there's a reason of how individuals would like to fulfill their dreams and walk their own little litted paths, though destined. Should we accept our fates so obediently or is it worth a fight to at least try and make things work? Being Chinese Educated appears to me as having a leash around my neck, and at the beck and call of parents' or any authority, great sense of honour and respect for rules and regulations, and being totally mindful of one's social standing in a shared community. While being English Educated is all about speaking back and having one's own mind, and eyeing for loopholes in rules and regulations, a willfulness to insist that respect and authority is earned, not out of blind acceptance of an exponential relationship between ascending respect with upward moving hierarchical order.

Because of feudalism a.k.a. 'forced respect', the world suffered. While the poor and middle class rot by working their fingers raw and squared off in spite of knowing a better way to improve things, AND the blue blooded ones, upper and upper-middle class excel in the expense of the initial. Likewise, crappy traditions and customs are not broken off and got interwoven into modern times, stunting the growth and promotion of the poor to middle class, and the middle class to upper middle. Likewise, the kind of ingrained 'respect for there's no other way' due to the meritocracy of age, position (all of ascending hierarchical order) from Chinese-Ed-mentality, keeps one within the box of acceptance. So, be thankful to keep safe, and never dabble into the world of opportunities and the times of signs, age and modernism. You get the drift.

There's a time to be strident when you want to see results. Plan to make changes for a better life, and oozing satisfaction of "I've been there". I'm speaking of stridence that do not injure and hurt others from progressing, neither those that step on the weak to excel. BUT, hardwork, dilligence, hope and perserverance. I'm very much in agreement to the point where progression of individuals, companies, technology and all that of it's interalia likeness is due to agression (the good and positive kind) ---> dare to dream ---> dare to try ---> dare to swim against the flow of rigidity. Some may say that this is all about the birth of anti-establishment. My father once said that I'm anti-establishment, but he made a choice of perceiving me as having a mule-headed rebellion against authority. Nah, nah, nah, it's about improving things, adopting new ideas and living outside of a boxed-mentality. Afterall, nothing of these compromised with my ethics, ingrained moral and religion... so, it doesn't fit into a mixed-up / mixed-bag of confusion category.

Technology, better lifestyle, happier people...all stem from people who have achieved part of their dreams and so forth. Imagine a world where everyone lives in obedience and rules and regulations, we'd still live without lights, cars, handphones and many more comforts in life. We might as well join the Amish. At least the Amish did not stop us from progressing the way we want, they just refused participation and left us to our own devices. But that cannot be said for most parents and authorities, they want to stop us dead on our tracks.

So, hurrah to being strident, as it kicks the square to learn to roll over, and definitely brings the lions out of lambs!