Learning from losses

I've lost numerous things, opportunities and loved ones in my life. It took me a while to count my blessings and realise that I've gained in different ways from such losses. There's hardly a successful 'lost and found' story that is significant enough for me to share, ever.

Though there's acceptance and peace rituals that I've made over time over the losses, but the memory of the experience will never be forgotten. As overwhelming as they can be, some of these losses shook me so hard that it rattled my bones and loosen my teeth... and some that shrunk me even - loss of appetite, being wrung dry of tears etc. It was never gentle. How not to learn lessons from them all unique losses?

Yet, such losses are not adversities in vain. Every loss bears it's significant mark, and dog-eared the pages of my journey on earth thus far. Each loss has a story, and each story has it's morale, and each morale has a fate tagged behind it. Acceptance is the key in most, but a little fight in some I too, took up.

My sensitivity has opened up more with each loss. I have become more aware of my surroundings - people, things, opportunities and most of all, life as a whole. I feel that I'm living a life, a life that's never lack of emotions. Surely there'll be lots of stories to tell and to write about when the time is right.

Though the little moments of grief entails when a loss is fresh - I'm sure a short moment of silence and grieving at such instances are allowed. Though each loss changed me a little, with their added values in vigilance, being more careful and everything else that I could do within my humane capacity to pacify my gnawing 'why me?', but there were too, times when I am forced to let go and allow things to be at loss, in hope that it will one day, return to me. So in a way, a change sometimes has helped me to outgrow a past.

Outgrowing a past may be a little harshly worded, so, let's reword it to 'letting go' instead. Losses comes in all forms and amongst the few are of 'losing' things, people, and opportunities alike. Reminiscing all these, I've learned that I've become the way I am today through losses and gains. I'm sure this is familiar to all, and I'm not alone in thinking this.

This is turn, made me ponder further to 'guilt' that's linked to losses. Too many people, including myself are guilty of losses... and sometimes angered and irritated first before adapting to the voidness of a loss. It's almost like a feeling of being prematurely cheated or short-changed that led to losing anything - unintentionally or forced. No doubt it's seen as a daunting experience at the beginning, and for a while, it becomes a setback or emotional blow, depending on what had been lost. The only way to get over it is to give up, and move on - right, easier said than done. Sometimes, we'd think to ourselves, rather than remaining faithful to what has have had been lost, we cheaply resign to fate - What's not yours, will never be yours. Or rather, in a Christian way of thinking - It's not in God's Will.

We have two choices to overcome a loss, if applicable to anything - to either look at what remains and be appreciative of what remains, or to build up a case in a quest to find what had been lost. The investigation job is stressful, and could lead to other complications. So, do a check and balance and know when to stop. The danger to the latter is also that we have the danger of focusing bitterly on what has been lost. In doing so, we often become cynical and lack appreciation to 'what's meant to be'. However, the world sees that victory and satisfaction belong to those who do not choose the path of least resistance when faced with major life challenges, somehow or rather. Then again, resigning to fate also has it's good for our psyche and it really depends on what has been lost - worthy to be fought for or not... or is there a better replacement?. Yes, sometimes we make way for the new to come when the old is lost or let go. These to me, is all about living a life, dealing with different surprises... we learn and unlearn things in life through losses and gains. Don't we have a lot to learn and gain about losses?