Angie's blog

Angie is a simple girlie who believes that her life is governed by God's mercy, grace and wisdom. This blog site solely used for her to express her thoughts and experiences in life.

Saturday, May 13

Legacy

We all long to leave a legacy of some kind when we finally pass on. Some slog all their lives to build a legacy by delving into hard works and investing aggressively. While some fight for changes in age-old traditions within their culture to break out of the mould so that others within the community will live in freedom. Of course, freedom in this sense is perceived as a better life to live. So, it's all about 'setting up' a better life for the next generation or someone that we care for a great deal. Such is the common perception of legacy.

On the other hand, it is also of a pride exhibition, as it serves as proof that we have lived fruitfully on earth, it soothes the ego, and gives a peace of mind and heart that they've done their best in humane capability to help their loved ones live a better life. Little do they realise that while they are so busy building their legacies, they have forgotten that the next generation or those that they love are actually the legacies itself - it's not what has been passed on to, or what has been changed, but what has been invested into the younger generation lives to encourage the right behaviour and also the right approach to appreciate and be grateful in life.

Have the world yet to learn its lessons that the focus and attention has to be channelled to the next generation? Not with the actions of putting them aside while you slog for them by lipservicing this "I'm doing this for you". Prove does not come in just words, but by exemplary living. In the media, we read of tycoons' offsprings and other loved ones suffer in spite of having endless wealth and legacies. If only, the focus is on grooming the next generation and children since their tender age would have made the difference. Wth time spent and all that is well-imparted with by example as good parents, the children would live on appreciatively and gratefully of what is passed down to them in time to come.

Many people have a funny way of wanting the world to remember them as well by publishing their good works, their heartbreaks and all their sufferings via their biographies. This is surprisingly done before their lives come to a halt.

Surely it is not when we are living that we have passed all tests in life, but in how our lives end? Putting our best foot forward even from the beginning of life does not predict that we will have an empowering ending.

What kind of impact we want for the future is by exemplary living. What is the use of a 100% slogging and building an empire of wealth and breaking the moulds of traditions when we do not focus on the next generation? Such actions would surely teach the children that everything comes in monetary rewards? What has happened to cultivating love, affection, compassion and empathy? It all begins from the home, isn't it?

Riches in the forms of materialistic and reconstructed legacies are easily squandered off when children those of the next generation are not taught of it's value. Legacy itself in actual fact is how we treat others when we are alive, and this calls for focusing on the next generation. Be they our family, friends or our very own children.

Tuesday, May 9

A flaw in women

Today I received a forwarded email from an old friend, stating the flaws in women, that is they forget their worth in the presence of those they love - their tears are seen as a sign of weakness or a form of manipulating others. Reading the following passage, made me think of my grandmother, my mother, my sister, girlfriends and even myself... and this tells us to remember our worth and why God made us so mentally strong, yet so weak in physical strength. God didn't make Eve to just entertain Adam or for procreation purposes, but to add value in Adam's life, in support when needed, emotionally and mentally. Here goes:

By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hours a day."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything!

Woman is truly amazing."

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love, and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.


They'll drive, fly, walk, run, or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

How marvelous God is when He is our creator, and knows our past, present and future. He made man and woman a team, that makes life wholesome. To end today's blog entry, I'd like to share this excerpt from the Bible, of how beautiful God made us, man or woman alike:

"The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be all alone." (Genesis 2:18) "So The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs [also translated took part of the man's side] and closed up the place with flesh. Then The Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Genesis 2:21-24)

Sunday, May 7

Getting out of Groundhog hell

Ever notice the same ol' patterns going through life time and again? Yup, old habits are hard to break, and they are die-hard clingy! This sunday morning, I lay in bed with the word "Groundhog day" stuck in my mind. I begun pondering over a little bit of this and that over the years of my observations on emotional issues and all the been-there-tried-that approaches to get out of groundhog days.

There's no getting things right when there's no changing of life patterns and of course, it's not about changing who you are, but how you are at the end of the day. I've watched the reruns of "Groundhog day" where Bill Murray and Andie McDowell stars in, and I've never found myself any less amused with the lines in the movie. The character never got out of his groundhog day till he got things right in the end, of course, with lots of trial and errors, but he got it through in the end. Excellent movie, I'd say, and I think it's a must-see for everyone to actually break into their own shell of repetitive living.

No matter how much we think we are like our parents, sometimes we pop out and grow up to be thinking that we are completely different and lacking the right communication skills to iron old issues out. Quietly inside us, we would like to be partnered with someone who is either the opposite of how either of our parent is like. Our head expand and contrict upon finding out that how much like our parent the partner is when we thought we have chosen to be with someone who is not? Get the drill? It's a shock to the system, and you wonder, "What is going on here?"

Anyhoo, here's an example, expression-filled offsprings are often hatched by expressionless parents, while expression-filled parents usually hatch expressionless offsprings. Likewise, when either type of offspring are matched off, they end up with the opposite type of who they are. So much for saying 'opposites attract', when there are so much similarities to one's genetic make-up that did not manifest!

So, with expressionless partners gets stuck with expression-filled partners and vice versa till the clamy hands of depatch-do-they-part, but somehow seem to live blissfully happy in the end... where both partners seemed to still be themselves, but possess marked changes of how they used to be?

Now, let's get back to what's the groundhog day is all about - which is before one figured out how one should be without changing who one is. When growing up, we go through repetitive communication to break through the parents' wall of expressionless or overtly expression-filled ways. What we needed is to be heard, and to be happy. However, we seemed to either impress upon the clamp up button on parents who are already expressionless, or activate a more noisy button on expression-filled parents. For the initial, the offspring ends up having verbal diarrhea, while the latter, the offspring ends up being completely constipated.

Only when a change of pattern in communication takes place (to do the unexpected and the unpredictable), we get the recipient to meet us halfway. Some may choose to see this as a form of manipulation, but I'd say that it's a wise way of getting messages across.

Unfortunately, when a change of communication pattern does not take place, one is stuck in the groundhog day of things. This usually carries over into the offsprings' later life of ending up with a partner being exactly like the offsprings' parents. How true it is that I find, being a completely expression-filled individual, hah!

I've noticed and even experienced for my ownself on being stuck in the rut of groundhog hell. Yes, it's all about repetitive emotional issues and failed approaches in being heard and getting things done the way you or I want it. Not that either of us are selfish little snitches or donkeys, but we're willing to meet halfway, somewhere, even anywhere! Now, who in the world would think of oneself being inconsiderate? It's all about perception of the self in comparison to what's experienced of others, isn't it?

Anyway, for my case, I didn't figure it out till many years later, that I really need to make big changes in my approach by getting my messages through - to meet halfway. I did not realise that I needed approval from others so much till I caught myself being and doing that exact same thing I did with my parents. I had my fair share of rebelling, and going against my parents, forcing them to come out of the expressionless shells to actually tell me what to do, and that made me even more stubborn to go against every single thing. When they say, "sit", I stood. You get the drill.

My approach then is to be less-wanting-to-please, less-acommodating and and learn to please myself more by doing what I want to do instead of doing what others want me to do, and doing what makes them happy. I became selfish at one point in my parents' eyes, but somehow, the men I dated were exactly the way my parents were. This was the dilemma I was stuck in the past. It wasn't solved till I figure out that I need to communicate batter in a more effective way instead of being emotional about everything. I learned that my need to make myself happy for myself is not always the way it's viewed by my parents as being wise. Hence, I began speaking calmly and see how they react to each sentence before I form the next. Instead of pre-planning everything and gush like a geyser. This became a more active approach and my choice of words became more palatable, while my parents' became more expressive through this training. My parents and I grew together, and on my part, it's an over-due wisdom that age brings forth, while my parents viewpoint is, "Thank God she finally figured it out".

My men of the past and even the current one has gold in the mouth, as per my parents used to be. They probaby were and are still very stingy on showing the gold till the right set of words is said. You know, like Aladdin's 'open sesame' secret password... I'm sure you know what I mean. Hence, only with the sight of the glimmer and glitter of gold then, I get a feedback. Otherwise, it's clamped shut. I learned that my password needs to change, depending on which part of the rock I'm facing - they are all approaches of love, not of righteousness - such words range from reasonable to considerate, and understanding to firm.

The years taught me to use different approaches, even with my very own little Napoleon at home. I realised that I'm the one who's always expressing on what I'm unhappy about instead of what I'm happy about. The lack of positiveness created a mess, and the thing is that I didn't even realise it till much later on! This carried into my personal relationships and also a fated attraction towards the same kind of clamp-mouthed-specie.

So, acceptance of what each other are like is the key here, and approaches with love, not time, heals wounds and bridges gaps. My approach these days is on how I want to be with an attitude of "Ok, do what you like, I'm just going to do what I like. See ya later". The strange formation of mutual respect took place with this. So, both parties' now are happy with what they want to do, and so am I without having to stress myself up with all the 'why's' in the world that echoes back "it's the way it is, don't ask why".

Poking my head of out Groundhog hell over the years have been as interesting as knocking my head on wood. You're probably thinking that I've probably wasted all that time figuring life out, but there's some good ol' wisdom that yields from knocking on wood. Yes, it dislodges some old habits to give way to new ones to form, and give a little space for more love to percipitate and glue some salvage-able dislodged pieces back in new positions, while leaving the unsalvage-able ones filed away in the 'not lovable habits section' as reminders in the mind and heart.

It doesn't matter any more how new and better habits come about, as the only way to figure it out is to remember to love even the unlovable and be mindful, empathetical and go through the trials and errors to find your own niche in the end - be yourself, be who you are, and don't stinge on changing things on how you are going to do it to make the world a better place to live in for you and for others.

Layout Loyalty & Font Facism

It must be from much boredom and lack of creativity when a workplace toys with an idea to brand it's publishing materials and all that is of corporate printed documents with a fixed font style and layout borrowed from good ol' Word (Windows).

Much to my chagrin, this suggestion spilled out from a much respected personel in the top peck of order at my work place. Of course, the intention was to start some line of disciplining and also some form of professionalism. However, branding our goods, and hoping to possibly one day, patent a fancied layout and font by riding on windows' providence is just not the key to achieving top notch respect from the rest of the players of the industry :). I'm wobbling with hiccups of laughter.

Isn't such a ploy to reform china-man ways to a new professional front obsolete by today's much more cunning and materialised world? With such rigidity, will a company be advancing and progressing better?

Speaking of progressing and advancing, will layout loyalty and font facism in this case help a company achieve it's goals and recognition in the market? I doubt it. Well, I'm just peeling my eyes to see what other bozo-worth of suggestions might crop up next. I suppose whatever that works in the big boys' / girls' agenda, eh? lol