Not good enough

I've just clocked in another year not too long ago. Parents and sis called me up on the big day itself, and colleague-friends celebrated for me as well at Sakae Sushi. Yums. Bro and sis-in-law wasn't bothered, but I expected this. *Sigh* So, relationship with Bro, it's still not good enough.

This is officially my year since the turn of CNY. Yes, this is the year of the fire pig, but miscontrued to be the year of the golden pig. Feng Shui masters say that this is a bad year for anything... but who cares about Feng Shui nonsense? These folks' explanation out of hocus pocus star reading and listening to whispers in the wind is just not good enough to put me off from believing that God's providence will come through at the end of the day, no matter how dark and bleak things can be.

This is also THE year where I'm even more frugal than ever, as I'm beginning to count down the days to my retirement. So, money-wise, I'm doing better than the previous years. Still, it's not good enough. I must save up!

Now, what have I learned being a year older and perhaps not any wiser? I've become more blunt in some ways, and a little rounder around the edges in some other ways, including weight-wise. Oh... there's the word again... "wise". Perhaps, I've become more pig-ish, if there's such a word... as in being more hedonistic and not give a toss to anything that stands in my way, and continue to be vain eventhough I don't look quite it these days. Who cares if I'm not good enough to eat?

On the love-relationship front, he's still procastinating like before. I'm sick and tired of this lackadaisal attitude in not getting his priorities right in regards to me. Manifestation of sensitivity? I don't detect any from him, but there's lots from me. Perhaps the statistics are right, when one doesn't marry by the 4th dating year, everything goes downhill. In fact, divorces and separations usually occur in the 4th year of marriage relationships. In my case, it's not that I'm not trying hard enough to bridge things. I think he's just not good enough for me.

What a boarish attitude I have these days. Can't blame me, as I've been too long a crowd pleaser, persevered too much, and just too patient that I've been an addled brain hussy. So, this year, I'll just be a charging boar and to do things my way. I'm building up on my idiosyncracies. Whoever who says thatI'm not good enough, I'd say "go home and suck on granny's eggs".

So, I'm good enough for anything and everything. I will not be beaten :).