'em slack buggas

I sat at the office today, catching my breath from the 3rd day of mad rushing from Cheras to Nilai, back and forth ... back and forth. Nope, it ain't no fox-trot, honey, it's a dumb wild goose chase on behalf of the Ministry of Higher Education. This has been going on the past 3 days in a row, and from the looks of it, I may still be called back to feed them more data & info by personally typing them into their user-unfriendly software. So, all in all, these 3 days just zipped past me, leaving me dead-bone-dry and exhausted, with nothing concrete achieved, professionally and personally.

With the mileage clocked in on the road, I could have gotten meself to Thailand. With all that time wasted, I could have used it to finish up all my needed-office-paper work. Yes, office work wise, it has been stagnant too. This is not because I am not progressively working, it's due to our upcoming internal big PR event, which is a time sucker too, on top of our expected work, and also things in our portfolio. Having to deal with last minute requests from the Ministry on top of that event just left me speechless. What else can I say, but a total waste of time when the Ministry behaves so insensitively?! Those buggas in the Ministry office, sucking up private sectors' tax $$ and holding back private sectors from improving in leaps and bounds have been sitting on their hinds, with lack-lustre work performance. Of course, when they insist, we have to act fast on it, but when we ask them in return for data and information, we have to wait till the cows come home. In this case, it is uncalled for, as they have always had our full account of data and information... in which we have even voluntarily updated them on top of their silly insistance for updated data and information for umpteenth years. Us good private sectors have never failed to comply and meet their ridiculous last minute deadlines, working over-time and crunching hours like mad... but what the hell for if we are pulled for such exercises at least twice a year to re-enter data and information that we've already submitted?

So, what are they doing with all that time in their hands and all that data the private sectors have been summoned to give and declare all the time? It was there to collect dust... in which as a fact of a matter, all that data and info that have insisted are supposed to extract by them, and keyed into their system to sort and compile for whatever research and statistics for their own Minister to present. Uh-uh, nope, they ain't doing nothing of such sort, I'm afraid... in fact, everytime their Minister want to present things, they get flogged for being slack, and they flog us private sectors to send reps to key in data and information for them!! Can you beat that? Yes, they are even too lazy to crunch in hours to do their bit with our submitted data that range from soft to hardcopies as per their whims and fancies.

Yes, that's what I've been doing, as I'm amongst them reps who were sent on behalf of my company... and as I was keying things in, I thought to myself, "How come they are asking this? Don't they have all these since my company has been around for the past 20 years?" I said that last year, when it was 19 years, and 18 before... and 17 before... and you get the drill. So, they've never improved, nor learned their lesson?

'Em slack buggas were facilitators over us private sector reps, flogging us and telling us what to do... and even they themselves are not familiar with the software and what they themselves actually want. Every rep in there was groping in the dark, and we complied anyway, what to do? When we want to continue working to get things over and done with, they keep reminding us of break time for firstly, breakfast, then morning tea, and then lunch, and then afternoon tea?! So, you can well imagine how much we were interrupted... and the data entry involved could have been done within half a day if we were briefed proper of what they want and how the software works. However, with our self-learning, and also all the 'forced breaks', we couldn't' get things done! Time is money, and progression of the country is at stake ...

When I've completed my work, they insisted on verifying 'our' data... and that alone, took half a day... I looked at them with hollow eyes, and wonder, "Will the education industry, or any industr for that matter in my beloved country improve with the likes of such slack bastards facilitating us, the diligent ones?"

Year of the Dog

I have been told that this 'Year of a Dog' is different. It carries with it a strong fire element, meaning that it is 'suddenly' a good year for those who are wood and metal element based, as I am.

I'm never a big believer of Feng Shui or anything that's linked to the reading of animal zodiacs, horoscopes, birthdates, stars, face, and palms. Somehow, I have a close friend, who could not zip his mouth shut from volunteering all these things that he felt that he has a duty to tell me.

A couple of years ago, this superstitious friend of mine influenced me into buying some rose quartz that will draw my then troubled boyfriend's love back to me, and hence improving my love life, especially during crucial moments. I was then disappointed and depressed with my situation, and this friend of mine was so cheery and motivated that I thought I'd just tag along with what he wants me to do. So, off we went, in search for the right rose quartz for moi. I half-heartedly and jestfully poked on each stone... and finally, with much persuasion, found one that caught my eye... as it's so pretty! There and then, I thought to myself, 'what the heck, I'll just buy it since it's such a pretty-looking stone'.

After I have bought the stone, he taught me how to take care of it - by soaking it in sea salt water, and exposing it under the sky every single night.... if there's a moon, it's even better, as the stone draws the most power and will become very powerful the next day. *Gulp* The sound of the cleansing procedure made the hair at the back of my neck rise... it sounded so evil... as anything to do with exposing this and that to the moon sounds evil to me. Hear, hear, it's all influenced by the movies - vampires, werewolves, murders, spooky mist-filled graveyards and whatever ill-omen has something to do with the moon - now, that was evil, evil, evil!

Ok, jesting aside! To me, the moon does not signify the best of things that is in the light and of religious positiveness, though it does signify the signs of time etc. So, there I was, liking the stone and wore it to see my lil' darling, but never followed the cleansing procedure. The most I did was to soak it in salt water once in a while since I felt that it makes the silver shiny and the stone squeaky clean! Well, my love life didn't suffer further, nor did it jumpstart into something hot and howling. The gradual improvement came through when I prayed more, and also have a more open communication with my beau. The stone did nothing.

As for today, the little story of my life after the adventure-of-the-stone days, and of course, this is again, according to my superstitious friend.... is that I've already missed my chance of marrying as I was supposed to marry by or at the age of 28 / 29. I looked back at those said ages I was at, and remembered hankering for a man almost twice my age, whom I know will never marry me no matter how much I wanted to be married to him. So, it wasn't me missing my chance to marry then, it's just that this ex of mine didn't want to be married to me. As crushed as I was, I did become a tad bit bitter, and wanted to do all sorts of things to make myself happy, and just for myself... and no more planning around a man, and thinking for two. I moved into a world of just thinking of one, me, myself and I. So, how did I miss being married here, I do not know. Also, I did not fancy anyone after the ex, but a year after that, I did open up my mind to 'give men' one more chance before I tidy up a little cozy place for myself on the shelf for eternity. I dated a few, and I was horrified by their attitudes, and I was just not ready to accept them no matter how much of an open-mindedness I've psyched up myself for... it just ain't working. I find them most unlovable, and most unattractive, and oh-so-not-deserving of me. However, I still kept my options open to befriend male friends, and was on very chummy phileo terms with a few like-minded ones.

So, like-minded ones I've kept. I fell in love with one of them, and kept the rest as life-long friends. The future of being married seemed brighter all of a sudden, but there were challenges and insurety in rough-patched experiences in the then-new-found romance. It was an alternate flicker and bright light every now and then, and I kept my vigil on due to my stubborn nature. I knew and wanted to be with this one, and I knew there'll be no other that I ever want to be with. That's the story so far. It has come to a point now that as of this year, the 'chance' of being married is on again... and my superstitious friend wove a metaphor out of this situation ... in where he began the story in figurative speech, impersonating items and things that is befitting of my fate. Yes, another story-telling ... that I have a 'bus' to catch, which is zooming towards my direction really quickly, and this bus has been visible at the turn of the Year of the Dog. Somehow, this bus on-going in which I will have to run and catch it, but could easily miss it if I do not jump into action and make my legs work towards a running mode to catch it? This friend of mine said that if I don't catch this bus by or at the age of 35, I'll miss being married altogether and will stay a spinster all my life. Felt like a curse has been casted upon me! Well, the reason behind this 'fortune-telling' is because of my birthdate? A fate 'fated' as it is, and fixed because of the time that I was born! It seems that some people according to their birthdates have more spinster-ish qualities - yes, I happen to fall into this possibility-of-being-spinster-ish birthdate bracket, how lucky!

Time stood still after I've heard this, and I probably looked a little crestfallen since I really wanted to be married this year as I've told my beau. Then I broke into a big smile and said, "I'm a Christian, and you know that I will not trust fortune-telling and anything about luck and colours and all sorts... so, I'll take your words with a pinch of salt". My friend rolled his eyes, but he knew that he couldn't move that rooted part of me, and he knew that the possibilities of this 'fixed' fate he's talking about doesn't have a stronghold over me as I have invisible hands guiding me. He acknowledged that only these invisible hands can change my fate. I'm glad he could see that no human being can foretell the future, nor take pride in determining someone's future through outward signs such as dates, and face and whatever.

I admit that his words did stall me for a moment, as I didn't expect such negativity. My positive outlook to things are that, I must work for everything that I wish for, and pray towards it's success, and be open-minded if my wishes were not to come true. I believe that when one door of opportunity is closed on one, there'll always be another door of opportunity opening for a different set of things to bless one's life. Still, I have plans and wishes to be married this year, not because of what this friend of mine has said, but I do want to make this happen this year. The bits and pieces of traditional superstition do crop up from God knows where as I'm human afterall. As of what was said today as well... the hair at the back of my neck rose... making it feel like a curse and a spell has been woven in the air, not by a wand, but a swizzle stick from my friend's coffee. As far as my imagination went, I mentally pictured him tipping his little warlock wand on my head, hoping to send the curse down into me... or perhaps it's just his way of prompting me to hurry up... or a way of psyching me up in his own way?

Soon after my encounter with this friend, I went to my office, and said a silent prayer in Jesus' name to break this bond / curse... to flush it out of my mind and memory, and replace it with a positive outlook towards what is said. I have learned or acquired knowledge and have observed thus so far, to have some blessed wisdom that this life is not solely mine, but God bestowed and I am made for a good purpose. Whatever it is, God knows, and God blesses, and everything is about God's timing that cannot be determined by another human. So far what I've hoped for, in which amongst them is that I know I'm a people-person that involves helping people in areas of teaching, counselling, and support - churchwork alike. Apart from all these work or career-related things, I strongly feel my personal life is also of one that leads to a day that I will be married. I've met someone special enough to want to settle down now, and it's also part of God's blessings of my mother's fervent prayers. My nature and the way I am, my mother has always prayed that I will be a good wife and mother one day, and I know this deep down in my heart of hearts that I will be because of my mother's prayers. This much I know, deep down as a woman, my intuition and through my faith in God, and the power of prayers. Thus, I trust in God's divine providence, and this is my belief that no one can tell the future to halt or better a progress in life, as we are all in God's hands.

The curiousity and the inquisitiveness in wanting to know one's future must not do one good. I see my superstitious friend, and all those who'd flock to him for advise are always anxious about not having 'the luck' of getting rich, or 'of having a great love life'... or in fear of having a bad run of luck etc? Well, of course, good news is always a welcome, but what about the bad ones? I wouldn't want to know when exactly I'm having a bad run of luck, or accident or dying for example! It would surely be terrible to do a count down to such!

Wouldn't it be better to live one's days, thanking God for the beauty provided, and when there are hard times, ask God to give one the strength to carry on. Little things that we take for granted, the beauties in life that slipped past us because of our worries for tomorrow or little things that we sweat over... there's so much to do today, why try to overcome what's in the future? We have expectations, plans, but they are not written in stone, they are not concrete, we allow the fluidity of changes taking place... perhaps not as fluid-like or smooth at times, but surely there's a reason to faith as a faith is to reason? The intertwining of these two gives the highest meaning in life.

Deep in me, I am Christian, and will always want to be one because I learn little lessons every single day and to know a living God that makes small miracles in my life, I'm satisfied. Hence, I pray thankfully for all that God has provided me today, healthy parents, a job, a house over my head, good friends, food on the table etc... you name it, you've got it. Also, praying for peace whenever anything disturbs my thoughts, to break a bond or curse that has settled at the back of my head upon hearing or encountering uncomfortable things... thus, such prayers made lift my spirits and help me turn my face towards God. A sense of peace will engulf me thereafter.

So, back to the question, does it really matter whether it's a dog year or not? It could be any animal's year? My point to my beau is that in regards to marriage and how we will live... I just want to start off with one thing at a time... and firstly, I want to be married before my 35th year is over, and definitely before he hits 40. Location - doesn't matter, as I will be happy as long as we are together. So, it's this year that I'm looking at... and I'm praying that Perth will be the place that he'll get his job. So, hey Doggie, yeah, I'm talking to you... you're the one in the Year of the dog... please wag your tail to agree with me on this :). As for my dear superstitious friend, I will say a prayer for you tonight so that one day, you'll get to know and experience Christ.