Just another warm sunday

The warm bits are the usual, but there's something unusual about this sunday as I have to wake up really early and also caught up with an old friend (Narissa) whom I've lost touch for many years! Right, I had to wake up at 6:30am to buy 5 corn-fed chickens for a preggie friend who will be induced this coming tuesday. Yes, corn-fed chix, they are not the same as any other chickens, mind you!

I missed church this sunday, as I had to catch up on sleep. I feel kind of 'bad', you know what I mean? Anyhow, I'll be spending some time meditating tonight, and I know God will understand :). I woke up to have a little chat with Narissa, who's happily married and residing in East London. There are lots of memories of those days when I was Narissa's roomie, and also my A levels classes. Those were the days of John, Russell, Ramani, Jason, Kiran, Kah Peng, Kah Seng, Sonia, Domino and many more to name. I'm doing a lil' bit of walking down memory lane these days.

So, back to the market and this really warm sunday... my daddy dearest decided to tag along with me to Theresa's house, so that Theresa's mom, Dad and I would go to the Kepong market together. You must be wondering 'why Theresa's mom?'... Well, it's because I have no idea where to get corn-fed chickens other than via Theresa's mom, who has been helping me to buy those chickens for the past 5 years.

Anyway, as I drove, tagging behind David's car (Theresa's bro), I felt like I'm entering into another world that existed more than 50 years ago. I wish I brought my camera there and show you 'Kepong market' because I felt like I've been transferred to an old Chinese kampong! Then again, I'd look really weird taking pictures there, and I bet people will come over and check out what I'm snapping at... perhaps it's best to leave 'old places' in my minds' eyes, than to have it down in pictures.

It's a world that I've seen before, in fact, familiar... it's like a my dad's hometown in Kudat, where my paternal grandparents live. Structures of houses and shops, and even the market are of the old-styled wooden type. They are at least 70-80 years old... those structures... Dad says it's more, so, I believe him.

The marketing bits were fun, and we bought ourselves a whole roast pork rib, barbequed pork shoulder as well on top of the 5 corn-fed chickens for my friend, and a couple of chickens for ourselves, lots of lil' cakes and very chinese snacks for mommy dearest. Both Dad and I dump all the things in the car, and walked over to one of the shops to have a bowl of vermicelli soup with steamed wantons, fishballs and porkballs - absolutely yummy homecooked-tasting stuff. All in all, the environment, the food reminded me of grandma, who used to sell such stuff in the market back in Sabah... and I missed her all of a sudden... it'll be 2 years' anniversary next tuesday since granny has passed on.

I got home to sleep right after the marketing bits, and missed church all together... while Mom, Dad, bro and girlie went on to church, lunch and more shopping in my absence. Then before I knew it, it's already 5:30pm, and it's my turn to bring Mom and Dad to the night market and also out little walk at the Mont Kiara Forest reserve... and a late night dinner later on at home to wind up this warm sunday.

Too much food!

Yes, I'm complaining. I'm all pouty and spoilt to the boot. Completely annoyed and upset that I've put on 2 kilograms over the past 2 weeks is all my parents' fault! Pout, pout, pout! BUT, I'm enjoying the homecooked foodies like never before! :) tee hee hee

I meant to put a picture in this blog, but in our ravenous state at all eating times, I would forget to take a picture of the wonderful spread of food before my eyes. In spite of me holding on to my beloved digital camera at most meal times, I would STILL forget to snap pictures of 'em food!

Last saturday night, I bought a tiny feast for a preggie friend & her mom + her frenchie hubby, and of course, my lovely parents. I'm going to tell you what I ordered: Barbequed / grilled pork-thigh with toasted bread on the side, steamed salt-rubbed corn-fed chicken, stir-fried chinese lettuce in tangy soy & lots of deep-fried cloves of garlic, a steamed dish of a mix of salted duck eggs, century eggs and 'normal' eggs (giving it a lovely custard-smooth consistency) , amaranth soup with glass noodles, prawns, anchovies and century eggs. Yums! I'm glad for my friend's asianised Frenchie hubby, who eats everything we eat in a hearty way - and made no bones about enjoying his meals! ! I know my darling Martin would enjoy the food more if he was here! Won't you, my dear if you're reading this blog?

Indeed, I'm just naming one tiny feast, but can you imagine dining that way every single evening in different variations of yummy foods for the past 2 weeks? We eat too much, and Dad says, "It's ok, we don't always do this"... but, but, but... they're going to be here for a total of 6 weeks, and I can't pack on 6 kilograms. To add to this, I have no time for the gym with them being around... my hard work in toning & firming up is going down the drain. I have become another form of food - TOFU or BEANCURD... you name it! Wahhhhhhhhh! Yes, I'm back to ******** (rhymes with snitching) about my extra 2 kilograms! I stood in front of the mirror, pinching the sides of my stomach, turning front ways, sideways, sucking in my stomach till I almost turned blue on the face. I now do not have a beer gut, but an over-fed food gut!

To make myself feel better, I insisted on going on a 5-kilometer walk at a nearby forest reserve with my parents yesterday evening. After the walk, I continued to insist in cooking lots of vegetables and NO MEAT, and dunking down freshly-squeezed fruit juices before our meal so that it would 'take up our stomach space'. I even made my parents do the same thing too... hehe. It's time that we eat healthy once again!

Things ain't the same no more...

Having my parents around for the next 5 weeks is actually fun! (Not being satirical here at all!)

Right, they are currently enjoying their bonding time their darling children, namely bratty bro and I. Little horrid me was thinking earlier, "What on earth am I going to do with them hanging around for so long? To tell the truth, I've not stayed any time more than 4 weeks with them for the past 15 years! Indeed, indeed, that's the whole truth, nothing but the truth.

This time round, we've made it to the records as we are quarrel-free after a week of bunking under the same roof. In fact, the week felt like it has flown past me, hmmpf! Everyone knows that I love my parents tons, if not to little bits and pieces. However, their fretting over me like I'm an idiotic 5-year-old at all times just drives me up the wall. I swear at times, I'd find more comfort up in the wall than being back down here on normal ground.

The funny thing is that, it's either that I've grown much older where our age differences have fused closer, or it's my parents who have actually mellowed down to become more peaceful. Their serenity could have stemmed from all the recent events and experiences dealing with our relatives and situations within crazily large and extensive family. Perhaps I've picked up on tolerance, mayhaps perseverance or have simply grown wiser? What d'ya think?

I have to admit that there are many instances where it's only a mere storm in a teacup, but our quarrels are always so bitter and deafening. Perhaps we're all just plain eratic as our quarrels usually drain us to the bones, emotionally. I suppose, blood will always be thicker than water, and hence, forgiveness comes easier in dealing with each other. Maybe we're just very elastic people?

So, I was observing Mom and Dad over the past week, and I swear, some things will never change! Indeed, they are as cantankerous as ever. Their 'snapping at each other' still drives me up the wall. For some reason, most conversations they have agitates me to the ends of the earth. I've always tried stopping them from raising their voices at each other, till a couple of days ago. Yes, this time round, it has truly halted me from ever trying to stop Mom and Dad from their unfriendly exchanges with each other. Here goes, Dad's comments, a couple of days ago after I've shouted on top of their 'shouts' to keep quiet and let me drive in peace... Dad said, "Hey, why are you so easily agitated, Mom and I are just having a normal conversation". I gave Dad an incredulous look, and was flabbergasted (rare occassion, aye?). I went, "What???" in my head, and my eyes probably showed all the 'whats?' as well. Dad let the whole thing drop and went on 'talking' to Mom.

The main thing that strike me right after that is that my both my parents are slowly losing their sense of hearing. Good grief, why didn't I notice that? The way the television is blasting away in the house, and how they turned up the radio in the living room like they're trying to fill up a multi-purpose hall with music... It is loud, VERY loud!

Well, I have come to terms with this, and no longer stop them from raising their voices at each other. So, I've begun to pay more attention to the content of their 'talks', and I listened carefully at what they were saying... and true enough, they were having a conversation of agreeing and disagreeing like us normal young uns do...or mid 30s do. It's all that sparring and thrusting kind of conversations just for the heck of it. Hey, they do it, I do it, face it, we all spar and thrust for the heck of it!

Apart from all these, I have too noticed that Mom tries speeding through housework like she used to during her more robust and younger days. She kept running into little accidents, like burning herself at the stove, or splashing hot water accidentally on her feet, or slipping on wet floors and all sorts! No joke, mom's accident proned! It's almost like watching Larry or Moe or Harry (the 3 stooges) doing their little stunts, just that Mom is alone in all these scenes.

Nevertheless, there's nothing comical about this, especially when I have to dress Mom's oil-burned-burst blisters on the inside of her right arm. Let me tell you, that's an ugly and very painful wound. Of course, as I dress her wound before bedtime, I'd nag her. Indeed, Mom's turning me into a nag. I can't help it as she kept on ripping the wound open with her daily housechores. I have no idea what is there to do, and there seemed to be endless things to do in the house. I've lived there for years, and didn't have to slog around that way! To me, there's more to life than spending every waking moment doing housechores! To mom, nothing could seem to wait for another day. This really got me agitated, because I realised that: 1) Mom has grown older; 2) Mom is trying to be efficient but has her limitations these days due to her age; 3) Mom is trying to please us, but we don't need no pleasing.... Indeed, things ain't the same no more when folks grow older, and children grow older.

It has saddened me greatly that acceptance of old age on my Mom's end has to be in place. Dad has accepted it (I remembered he had trouble accepting it in the past and still insisted on trimming tall mango trees himself, where he'd climb up giant mango trees in the garden and start chopping the branches off so that they won't touch the wires or lean against the roof top). So, Dad has now wisened up and accepted aging is a fact, and his movements are limited. He's more sporty in reminding Mom that she's no longer young, and she needn't prove herself to be by being so overly diligent in clearing up housework like there's no tomorrow. Good on ya, Dad!

Sigh... I suppose, when we grow older, it'll take us a while to realise that things ain't the same no more with ourselves - agewise, skillwise, memorywise, keeping abreast with technology and the way the world is... and all that's linked with anything 'wise', though we may have evidently grown wiser with age. I'm just looking forward to Mom's soonish realisation before she hurts herself badly from trying to prove herself too much. She's gotta know that as we age, things ain't ever goin' to be the same ever.

A Singleton's Sense and Sensitivities

Being a single and independent mid-30s woman is about the most wonderful experience ever. It is in the surety of what she wants, what she needs and how she reasons with the world, and not to mention... having her own spending power.

Her sense and sensitivities are not just skirted around herself, as being considerate is the key and philosophy of life. Yet, she affirms her position in beliefs, thoughts, and opinion. She has embarked in her journey to become rounded around the edges that leadd to the road of self-actualisation.

The common sense she posseses is filled with sense and sensitivities. She relates herself to the world and vice versa, and balances out both impromptu and slow-processed decisions. Being single is a mixture of her choice and God's plan. She knows that if she is to be matched, her time will come. If God did not match her with anyone (yet), she accepts without mulling over how her biological clock is ticking. She knows that her existence, her being in this journey of many uncertainties has it's certainties in part of God's plans. She can rave on in life with focused confidence and God's providence. Hence, she sought for His kingdom first, and know that all will fall into place.

As for the her sixth sense, her intuition is in the process of being fine-tuned to perfection. The mileage of wisdom is gained continues from this point onwards. Though she allows room for mistakes, she remembers to be kind rather than always be right. In experience, she takes constructive criticism with grace, and knows that when the wall crumbles, the challenge is to be able to stand up and walk again.

She dares to dream, though she treads more carefully in view of lessons she learned in the past. Her dreams has the edge of a better tomorrow, one that shares her life with significant others - family, future spouse, future children inter alia. They are far from gullible fairytales, but they can be tall lorders, but she dares to still work out for a better tomorrow. She knows that to married is a bonus if she is matched, or to celebrate singlehood if she is unmatched. She will not let anyone else tells her how to lead her life.

However, the world hardly sees it that way, as being single is being self-centred. Since this is penned down by a Singleton, it makes sense to her. The world believes that sharing seems to be everything. In the absence of marriage, there has to be companionship as the world sees it. Eventhough companionship or marriageship and all those in ships are expected to link with romanticism or lust for life, it could present itself in the form of twosomes, sometimes, sadly, threesomes or more. There are even occasions where Singletons could be recruited into the facade of coupledom that may either yield to eventual splitsville, but with a little blessing and effort, there could be a fairytale-happy-ending.

In friendship, one can observe that she is never lack in the social skills department. She can have hoards of friends in their 20-something, and a handful of die-hard really good ones in their 40s, while a fast-dimishing number of 30-something girlfriends who have lost their respect for singlehood, or embittered with singlehood, or plain deliriously happily married and spreading the get-hitched gospel whether one wants to hear it or not. Such is life, the many characters in her journey in celebrating herself.

She continuously keeps in touch with her youth and vanity by having 20-something friends eventhough this group do not measure up to her maturity level at times. When they do - bingo, she feels at home. Her cynicism is beyond this group, her reasonings too, at times bring out the rebellion in the 20-somethings. However, the main simbiotic relationship between the 20s and the 30s is to celebrate the grandeur of girlieness and appreciate little blessings in life that could be muddled and blurred by the cynicism of aging. Youth doesn't last a lifetime, and she knows it. Hence, she makes the best of it.

On the other hand, those who are her age, in couplehood, singlehood or otherhood, mostly have a competitive edge. She knows who to avoid, and keeps only a small handful of same aged girlfriends.

Comparitively, she has more good 40-something girlfriends than those of her age group. This is her way of looking into the future of life, and how she'd shape herself to be when she reaches their age. Such friends are very dear to her, she loves them and sometimes loathe them for being right. However, she has the grace to accept, and know that friends of such are to be kept for life.

A singleton's journey is indeed a lonely one at times, but there's more joy than sadness that can be brought about by coupledom and otherdom. It's a place where no parents nor friends and others could understand, it's individualistic. Though there may be some individuals who share the like-mindedness, but how one deals with it's single status could differ greatly. Hence, continuing to dream, taking risks, loving people with all her heart and hurting like no one has ever hurt her before, is all that she knows will strengthen her to be stronger for the future.